He’s a Turkey

UPDATE: this is a little satire piece I wrote originally on January 17th, in which I theorized that Erdogan was “crazy” like a fox, and that his recent shift to the right was designed to smoke out or separate his enemies from himself before a purge.

Yesterday the Turkish parliament voted mostly along party lines NOT to impeach his four ministers accused of corruption –however — some Erdogan party members voted with the minority opposition, for impeachment. For one minister it was razor close, two more cross-over votes and his case would have been referred to the Turkish version of a Supreme Court for impeachment proceedings.

This would have been a huge embarrassment to Ergodan and probably set off his infamous temper.

As to the future purge I predicted, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions, but here’s a tidbit from todays news:

“This is an operation against Recep Tayyip Erdogan by a band of traitors within our ranks,” said Tayyar, a political correspondent, in an interview. “We see that there is a need for a serious weeding-out of people who don’t understand the new Turkey. He went on to say that the names of the mavericks would be determined within 48 hours.”

Source: The Monitor

Here is my original piece, untouched.
by Karl Spain


Recep Tayyip Erdoğan

“As Muslims, we’ve never taken part in terrorist massacres,” Erdogan said. “Behind these lie racism, hate speech, and Islamophobia. French citizens carry out such a massacre, and Muslims pay the price. The West’s hypocrisy is obvious.” 

By Paul Alster January 17, 2015 FoxNews.com

Otherwise known as the President of Turkey, that was yesterday, this next quote is from November 2009, when he said,

“It’s not possible for a Muslim to commit genocide.”  

BBC. 23 April 2014. Retrieved 3 June 2014

A lot of people are mad at President Obama for not going to France and therefore not marching in the solidarity event after the massacre in Paris, and of course, me being an old journalist and all, and me taking particular offense when the crazies start shooting at us, (although I was never fond of the cartoonist’s — what a strange bunch), I decided it was finally time to use the secret White House number I memorized while on tour there as a child — and see if anyone answered.

Imagine my shock when I heard O’s voice through the line, clear as a FIOS connection without NSA interference;

“Sup?” He said, with perfect diction.

“Mr. President, I fumbled (who would have thought that number was still good? I wasn’t ready to talk!), aren’t you sorry you didn’t go to Paris?” I got out, searching for something to say.

“How’d you get this number?” I heard him mumble.

I decided to confess as I could hear the swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, of NSA and FBI SWAT team helicopters zeroing in on my neighborhood, which is right next to a mobile home park. That kind of raid here around here, with that much down draft, might destroy a doublewide, a sin I don’t want on my conscience.

“I stole the number off the phone on a visit to the White House when I was a kid Mr. President,” I practically cried into the phone…

“So, you’re a minor?” I heard him ask, mistaking my panic for prepubescent voice changes, “Don’t lie to the President son — it’s a crime.”

Although I couldn’t imagine how that could be true considering how many people lie to the President, I assured him I was on the up and up.

“Well since you’re a kid, I’ll explain it to you and because you’re a kid, you’ll understand me. Kids get me.”

I didn’t argue, I didn’t want to lose the line.

“Have you ever heard of Recep Tayyip Erdoğan” he asked.

I knew he was the President of Turkey but would a ten year old? “No sir.” I said.

“Figures.” He answered, clearly frustrated by something.

“Can you believe it, can you believe the things this guy says and does and do they make a fuss, no, all they want to write about is that I didn’t go. What about this guy?” he was positively rolling/whining;

“He’s a President too, of Turkey I think, and he doesn’t have to go plus he says all this s**t, sorry about that language kid — but look, it’s so unfair, look what he gets to say with no blowback at all, it’s incredible, he…he…he’ll probably get a medal, you just don’t know kid, things are really upside down out there…”

I didn’t really know what to say, he was certainly right about all this, so I did try to be reassuring.

“It will be O.K.” Mr. President I choked out.

“Kids always say that” he yelled, “What the hell do they always have to say that for?”

“Is that why you didn’t go Mr., President?” I axed again.

“The Secret Service was also against it. They said I could go if the march was in Germany, something about prostitution being legal there.”

“So, that was it, the Secret Service wouldn’t let you go Mr. President? I asked, one last time, Why not just announce that?”

I could hear he was getting uncomfortable and had to go.

“Well, it wasn’t all them,” he said as the line went dead, “I also had a tee time…”

P.S. I stole that photo from Wikipedia, so if that’s a crime…wait a minute, let go of me,,,,,,,,kahhav




About karlspain

20 year Newspaperman. Lifelong Inventor. Wrote 2 books so far, working on more. The Revelation, 1st book, about your brain & the universe, and math. Hooked together! God I trust, America I love, 2nd book, is the biography of Aris Mardirossian, a great man. Also owned a software company, an IT integration company, a gas station and a fuzzy logic software title along the way.
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2 Responses to He’s a Turkey

  1. Mark says:

    Turkey stands at the cross roads of conflict between the Arabs, the murderous Muslims, the secular Muslims, Russia, and the USA. They are not European despite their desires to be, and they are not Arab despite their religious fundamentals and location.
    Their president is walking a tightrope that he cannot possibly walk in a logical fashion. His comments or actions at any point have the ability to start a civil and jihadist war inside Turkey. He will continue to say stupid stuff that flies in the face of reality in an effort to calm all sides in his nation until he absolutely must take a position to accurately describe world events. It is inconceivable that Turkey will be without violent internal events before January 2017. Unfortunately, their location geographically means that a wider war encompassing Europe, the U.S.,Russia,the Middle East, and North Africa will be unavoidable.

  2. karlspain says:

    Reblogged this on karlspain and commented:

    If you’ve been following events in Turkey, this blog is for you!

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